The Sharp Knife of a Short Life
by Cozymansam
Summary: Johnny Cade had broken his back and is dying. But does he know this? What is he thinking? What is his dying wish? Song fic and one-shot.


Um, Hi guys! This is my first song fic, so you'll have to tell me whether it's good or not. Please review! =)

**Disclaimer:**_** The Outsiders**_** is owned by S.E. Hinton and **_**If I Die Young **_**is The Band Perry's. **

**I did change the lyrics and ordering a little to fit the setting, but it's pretty similar. Will probably be OOC. And my style of writing is more modern. Sorry, that's how I write. Enjoy! **

_The ballad of a dove  
>Go with peace and love<br>Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket_  
><em>Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh<em>

Johnny gasped in pain as another seizure wracked through him. The pain was unstoppable, yet in an odd sort of fashion, welcome. As long as Johnny could feel he was alive. But he knew he was going to die. He accepted that. The kids he saved had more to live for. If only he could see Pony again and his life would be complete; he wouldn't need to live any more. He wanted Pony to know it was okay he as dying. He didn't want Pony to have to live with not knowing. It would be easier for Johnny when he was dead. No more worrying about being a greaser, not more getting jumped. But Pony and the rest had to live with that.

His mind drifted, away from all the pain, to another world, a delusional world. He met up with Pony's parents, the only grown-ups that had cared about him. He considered them to be his parents. They considered the same thing. They were out in the country, away from Socs, and greasers; where people were just people. There was no West and East side of town. There was town. Johnny could finally stop worrying. The terror forever in his eyes faded. Johnny knew this wasn't real; that it was all to good to be real. But he also knew, that when he died, maybe, just maybe, he could be reunited with them. Then many years later, the rest of the gang could join them.

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother  
>She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and<br>Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no  
>Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby<em>

Johnny liked this world he was in caught up half between unconsciousness and consciousness. It was a better place here. But Pony. He had to see Pony. This made Johnny concentrate. _Pony, get here. _He thought desperately. He could feel his life strength draining away. Although most greasers really don't give a damn about religion, Johnny and Pony had always been different. They'd enjoyed listening about God and Jesus. How they could be so fierce, yet so forgiving and loving, as well as loved. Johnny prayed with everything in him that Pony and hopefully Dally too would get here before he died. There was so much he needed to tell them…

A nurse came in and bent over him.

"Your parents are here to see you." She told him, smiling to add on to the effect.

"I- I don't want to see them." He told her firmly. The news weighed down in his chest like a cinderblock. His parents didn't give a shit about him. The only time they noticed him was there was when they were hollering at him or beating him up. Why were they here now? Probably to complain. Or maybe somehow there was some value in being nice to him now, publicity or something. Pony had told Johnny about him getting written in the paper. Maybe his parents could get recognized if they acted nice. He didn't know. But he did know that there was no way in hell he wanted to see them.

"But they're your _parents_." The nurse said, confused. Maybe the girl was a Soc, or a middle classer, or just plain ignorant, because when you're a greaser, the term "parent" doesn't mean anything. There are nice people that act as parents even though you're not related to them, like Pony's parents, and there are people who treat you like shit who are your flesh and blood parents.

"I don't care! I don't want to see them!" He insisted, staring at the wall. "Send them away! I don't want to see them! They're not my parents!" He said, and edge of panic and desperation coming into his voice as he spoke. The nurse shook her head sadly and went out, where Johnny's livid parents stood.

"I'm sorry," She said quietly, "But I think you have to leave."

"But I'm his _mother_!" The woman protested, her beady eyes filling with fake tears.

_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar  
>They're worth so much more after I'm a goner<br>And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'  
>Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'<em>

Johnny's parents were ushered out the door and Johnny was left alone again to wait, always to wait. There was nothing else he could do. His entire body was wracked with pain, despite the painkillers he was on. With little else to do, Johnny daydreamed about what was going to happen once he was dead. Would he be buried? Would the gang ever see him again? Johnny had never felt more alone. He's always known that the Curtis's were nearby if he should need them. Now he was immobile, hanging on to life only to see them again. But mostly the younger one.

Pony would see his grave was tended to. He wouldn't let the memory of Johnny Cade fade away. Not that Johnny was asking him to do this, there was no way Johnny would ask for something for himself, but he knew Pony would do it anyway. He was a good friend. Though there was little talk between the two, there was understanding. Pony would put roses on the grave and would not let passersby think of Johnny as a person who was alone. No, Pony would let people know Johnny had friends.

Beneath the dirt Johnny would be covered with roses. And though he did not have the money to be buried in satin, or a luxurious fabric, her would be close to the ones who he was accepted by. He wished he could be buried in the country where he'd been taken once. By a river somewhere. Pony and him would get up before dawn and watch the sunrise together.

_If I die young, bury me in satin  
>Lay me down on a, bed of roses<br>Sink me in the river, at dawn  
>Send me away with the words of a life's song<em>

Another nurse came into the room, this time a grim-faced middle-aged women with gray hair.

"Some of your friends are here to see you. A Dallas and a Ponyboy." Johnny nearly fainted with relief.

"I want to see them." She nodded brusquely and sent them in. They were bloodied and bruised, yet looked happier than they had in a while, even Dally.

"We won the rumble." Dally said, his ice-blue eyes sparkling. Johnny shook his head.

"It's no use. Fighting, it's no use." Dally licked his lips nervously.

"They're still writing editorials in the paper about you. For being a hero and all. We're all proud of you." Johnny's eyes glowed. This was all he ever wanted, for Dally to be proud.

"Pony." He whispered. "Come here." Pony came and leaned over him, tears flooding his eyes. Pony knew he was going to die.

_**"Stay gold Ponyboy, stay gold."**_Because Johnny was the one who knew what that meant, he was the one who'd interpreted Robert Frost's poem. He knew that gold was knew, unscarred, like green. Because,

_Nature's first green is gold,_

_Her hardest hue to hold,_

_Her early leaf's a flower, _

_But only so an hour, _

_Before Eden sank to grief, _

_So dawn goes down to day, _

_For nothing gold can stay. _

But Pony would change that; Pony would stay gold. And with those words having barely left his lips, he left to go to the country, millions of miles away.

_Who would have thought forever could be severed by  
>The sharp knife of a short life, well,<br>I've had, just enough time…_

**So, what did you think? Sorry about the OOC's, but that's how I write. I've tried, but it doesn't work. Tell me what you think! And please, no flames. Constructed criticism works just fine. =) **

**Always, **

**Stay Gold. **

**~ Cozy **


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